Fourth Estate Newspaper

Issue date: 2/4/10 Section: Off the Wall

Waxing not a good daytime hobby.

I am living the high life, but I need a trim. Would anyone care if the Hairy Fairy got a shave or even a wax? I feel my past conquests have been left with a little too much floss in their teeth, so my new look, will be smooth, sensual and fairytastic.
Smooth and mellow like coconut cream. I am your dream, looking for a lick of a popsicle on that Caribbean paradise far away from the demented cold and hillbilly blues of a Wisconsin winter.
I need to feel a new sensation, the young stud, feels more and more like a dud. Do not fear, I am still queer and in demand, but the young guns and tight testes are too distant mentally and emotionally for me to connect with.
I am looking for someone mature and mannerly. Someone who wants to spoil and spare a young princely mo, whose closet is sparse, no new shoes or shirts.
I want more, I deserve more, and I am never sore.
What else can I do? I have offered blood, sweat, tears and lube to satisfy all those who quench my body and need my fulfillment.
Will you be the one? Looking for fun, but needing more is something I am willing to share. A play, dinner and a movie, oh, that would be so groovy.
How about, we make a movie. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. We can call it, "The HMS Howitzer: Ready to blow." After, take me to Payless and Kohl's where I will stock up on the latest fashion. Oh, you would like that, me in a suit and tie with the newest nylons and loafers, ready to kick off, ready to guide you to and through the dark abyss in the night.
Do not be afraid, I will always be the light in the morning, ready for an eyeful and a mouthful as I swim in buttery eggs, cold juice and sausages filling me up. Will you be my chef, heating up the kitchen in your apron and nothing else?
I need not much, but a moment of satisfaction, which will last for hours on end. Rise to the occasion and save me from myself; I am
pulsating in heat and need to retreat to that cool quenching taste.
Always grateful, always thirsty, I promise to light your fire if you light my lantern. I should let you know, my waxing did not go the way I desire, but I am more alive and more festive then ever before. I'll be your treat if you'll be my trick

Call me!
The Hairy Fairy

Does the Hairy Fairy seem like the man for you? Is this the fantasy haunting your dreams at night? Do you have something between your teeth?
Call or write to our furry friend. He's located in UU112G and respondes to smoke signals and erotic howling (i.e. Shakira in "Shewolf").

Page 1 of 1

Article Tools