Gaga goes gaga, takes down Swift
Fans rejoice after country-girl attack at Grammy's
Maureen Malone
Issue date: 2/4/10 Section: Off the Wall
After a huge upset Jan. 31 at the Grammy's, pop sensation Lady Gaga is behind bars in the Los Angeles County Detention Center.
Those in attendance of the award ceremony said they saw Gaga's face turn beet red the second Taylor Swift accepted the Grammy for Album of the Year.
"I was sitting across the aisle from her," said Katy Perry, recording artist. "Suddenly, she jumped out of her chair and started pummeling Taylor with that metal starburst."
Simultaneously, guests in the front row were splattered with blood. Jay-Z seemed to be the only person unphased by the situation. This could have been because he was trying to hold back Beyonce Knowles.
"My girl went crazy," Jay-Z said. "For months she was up in the studio doin' her thing and all that work was for nothing when this blonde bean pole snatches up her award. Where was Kanye when I needed him?"
Eventually, Knowles broke free from her man's arms and assisted Gaga by wrapping her freakishly strong legs around Swift's waist, cutting off her air supply.
As officials struggled to bring Gaga in, press swarmed the area. She made an informal statement before they dragged her in.
"This isn't over," she said. "Papa-paparazzi! Look at my poker face. That bitch won't leave me speechless; my monsters will avenge this injustice. Until then I'll just dance in this cell. If they don't like it they can suck my disco stick."
Surprisingly enough, Beyonce will not be charged with anything. Some speculate her brick house and thighs-like-what have something to do with it.
There hasn't been an official court date set yet, but authorities know they'll need to act fast.
"If we linger too long, an army of Lady Gaga fans led by Elton John will be knocking down the jailhouse door," said Harvey Cream, Los Angeles Police chief.
Kanye West, who interrupted a Swift acceptance speech at the last MTV Video Music Awards show, has not made a formal comment. He is, however, at home sitting on his couch thinking, "I told you so."
Those in attendance of the award ceremony said they saw Gaga's face turn beet red the second Taylor Swift accepted the Grammy for Album of the Year.
"I was sitting across the aisle from her," said Katy Perry, recording artist. "Suddenly, she jumped out of her chair and started pummeling Taylor with that metal starburst."
Simultaneously, guests in the front row were splattered with blood. Jay-Z seemed to be the only person unphased by the situation. This could have been because he was trying to hold back Beyonce Knowles.
"My girl went crazy," Jay-Z said. "For months she was up in the studio doin' her thing and all that work was for nothing when this blonde bean pole snatches up her award. Where was Kanye when I needed him?"
Eventually, Knowles broke free from her man's arms and assisted Gaga by wrapping her freakishly strong legs around Swift's waist, cutting off her air supply.
As officials struggled to bring Gaga in, press swarmed the area. She made an informal statement before they dragged her in.
"This isn't over," she said. "Papa-paparazzi! Look at my poker face. That bitch won't leave me speechless; my monsters will avenge this injustice. Until then I'll just dance in this cell. If they don't like it they can suck my disco stick."
Surprisingly enough, Beyonce will not be charged with anything. Some speculate her brick house and thighs-like-what have something to do with it.
There hasn't been an official court date set yet, but authorities know they'll need to act fast.
"If we linger too long, an army of Lady Gaga fans led by Elton John will be knocking down the jailhouse door," said Harvey Cream, Los Angeles Police chief.
Kanye West, who interrupted a Swift acceptance speech at the last MTV Video Music Awards show, has not made a formal comment. He is, however, at home sitting on his couch thinking, "I told you so."
Be the first to comment on this story